Is it really a competition, or are we just trying to help each other out? I
actually find sharing with and learning from other moms very helpful. But last week when
I had coffee with another mom, she was talking about how she feels like she
always has to keep up with work, with her kids, and with other moms. I thought, Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Stay-at-home moms, working moms -- we all face the same issues: juggling life to make sure we do what's best for our kids and our families. We want to take care of everyone and still manage to have a life of our own.
Some say it's "mompetition," but I don't think so. I'm not trying to compete with other moms. I'm trying to compete with my expectations. But I guess the more moms you talk to who seem to have it more together than you, the more your expectations are raised. But do they really have it more together?
At first I didn't think it affected me, but maybe it does. Is that why I always feel like I don't have enough time, that I'm always one step behind? Why am I driving myself crazy?
I think there are many parts to our lives and sometimes something has to give. We can't be perfect at everything, can we? If you're a stay-at-home mom talking to a working mom, you may be jealous she's able to juggle a career and kids. If you're a working mom talking to a stay-at-home mom, you may feel guilty you're not home enough. When you see a mom with five kids, you wonder how she manages when you only have two. When you see a mom who looks great, you wonder why you didn't shower that day.
Everyone has a different story. I think it depends on your priorities at the time.
Let's see ... do I work, go on a playdate with my kids, make homemade baby food, work out, pay the bills, clean the kitchen, all of the above or none?
I want to be a good mother, a good wife, good career woman and good individual. I try, but it's hard to be 100 percent at everything all the time.
The next time you see a mom who seems to have it better than you, just know that you don't always know the whole story.
Mompetition is good if we use it as a resource, but it can also make us hypercritical of ourselves. So for today, I'm going to try not to listen to the most critical mom of all: myself.