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My Husband Wanted a Paternity Test

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Anonymous: Before I ever got pregnant, my husband told me he wanted a paternity test. He said it was nothing personal, but every smart man should get one. Otherwise, he might get financially stuck raising someone who is not his kid. I was appalled. I kept telling him it meant that he didn't trust me. That he was assuming I would cheat (and be dumb enough to get pregnant).

angry pregnant woman
One time it even came up in front of his parents -- who told him how rude it was. But he was adamant that there would be a paternity test. There was no discussion about it. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even tell my friends or family. Just like prenups and other contracts, he felt it was the sensible thing to do. So I said my kid would take my last name, if that was what he wanted to do. Then I got pregnant, and he went to every ultrasound and doctor's appointment. Each time, I asked him, "Are you seriously going to get a paternity test?" and he would say, "Yes." Even when I said I wouldn't allow it, he said all he needed was a strand of the baby's hair. 

What was this saying about me that he would even think to ask? I had never given him reason to doubt my fidelity. He said it wasn't personal and that he would have asked anyone. Even though we had tried to get pregnant with ovulation sticks and timed intercourse, he still wanted scientific proof. 

When my daughter was born and they handed her to me, there was no denying she was my husband's kid. She was his clone. It was scary how much they looked alike. And in the end, he didn't get the test. He was so in love with her, and there was no denying she was his kid. I was relieved. I asked him what he would do if he found out she wasn't his. And he said he wouldn't be financially responsible for her -- eighteen years is a big investment. 

My daughter looked like him the way most babies look like their father -- for this very reason. It is evolutionary, so in primitive days men, did not abandon their babies. It was the caveman DNA test.

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46 comments so far | Post a comment now
whatever November 16, 2010, 1:42 PM

this is a horrible story with no point other than to stir up the masses! I am officially done with this website because of this and other articles like it. I am really unhappy with, what a disappointment you are to real moms!

amaold November 17, 2010, 10:12 AM

wow… I’m with the last poster, done with this site. I was so disgusted with the story that I don’t even have a comment. Ok except to say that apparently i’m not watching enough Maury. He is apparently a guru on conduct.

MAXINE November 17, 2010, 6:16 PM

I totally relate. Mine was there the 1st 3 mths and then listened to his “mommy” and said the same “no offense” line. ((and he was 35 years old!!

Now he TOTALLY loves our daughter and can sooo not deny her. She looks and acts just like him. I forgave him but dont forget.

Ben Martin, November 17, 2010, 6:47 PM

That man has (or at least had) a lot of growing up to do. It sounds like he came around… he’s just lucky you stuck with him long enough for that to happen.

whitney mother of 2 November 19, 2010, 9:00 AM

Me and my fiancee have been dating for 8 years we had our youngest child when i was 17. he was my first and only and when we got pregnant with my son we were going through a rough period but hey i had just turned 21. HE wanted a paternity test for my son even though they look identical. i was so angry with him. i understand some people do that but i am not one of those people. i think my children need to know who their parents are no matter what its not about you its about them and i would not let my children believe something if it wasn’t true. Someone at his work said something about them not being his kids and he said they were but he was rude to me about it i was like look at the paternity test not listen to some man that doesn’t even know us. I was FURIOUS. Men need to realize its not always the woman. Glad that your story turned out well.

whitney mother of 2 November 19, 2010, 9:06 AM

why are so many people comparing it to the MAURY show that show is trash for trash

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