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The Pregnancy Card: How Long Can I Milk It?

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Mom-to-Be: I have a confession. And it's one that might peg me as a prego princess who can't let go of her crown. But after carrying this baby for ten months, it's going to be hard to give up the attention, perks and privileges that come along with being pregnant. Even though I'm beyond-words excited to have this baby and hold him or her in my arms for the first time, admittedly, it's going to be hard to turn in my special member card. You know: the pregnancy card.

pregnant woman
I didn't mean for it to happen, but I've become more than slightly addicted to what people will do (and won't do) when they see that I'm sporting a bump. They offer me their chair and want to make sure I'm feeling OK at all times. I get preferred parking at the mall and am allowed to be borderline narcoleptic at any moment. And after a lifetime of watching my weight, I really, really like it that no one (to my knowledge) judges me when I go back for second and even third helpings -- even when it's fried food! 

Will that kind of special treatment stop once I have this baby? Will I be getting the "Don't you want to lose that baby weight?" eye if I consume a second or, dare I say, third portion? Will I be judged if I fall asleep standing up at the grocery store? Will people still hold the door open and pull out their chairs for me? Is there a certain time I have to turn in my card? Is it the moment I give birth? Will the nurse hand me the baby and snatch the card right out of my sweaty hand? And if so, will I be issued a new one -- perhaps a "new mom" card? Is that too much to ask?

next: Celebrity Moms Make It Look Too Easy
7 comments so far | Post a comment now
REALMOM November 12, 2010, 8:42 AM

lol lol,I love this article. sooo classic. I was a prego princess too.

Janna November 12, 2010, 10:29 AM

I really can’t stand when women say they’ve been carrying a baby for ten months.

If you got pregnant on January 1st and were pregnant for 40 weeks (average), you’ll give birth on October 8th. That’s 9 months and 1 week of pregnancy.

When your baby is born, do you say she’s already one year old? No, because she’s not one until she finishes living for the whole year.

The same thing applies to pregnancy. You’re only pregnant for 10 months if you give birth on October 31st in the scenario above.

W November 12, 2010, 12:35 PM

40 weeks = 10 months
ur scenario gives 37 weeks…get ur math straight!

???? November 12, 2010, 12:52 PM

milk the cow!

Rob G November 12, 2010, 2:51 PM

@W Your scenario assumes that every month is exactly 28 days long. They’re not. A month averages 30.42 days long. (I rounded that off to make the math easier) So Janna’s math is actually correct. A typical pregnancy does in fact last 9 months and 1 week, on average.

Kristin November 15, 2010, 7:57 AM

Really guys? Are we really going to argue about something so stupid?

Loved the article! I know I go out of my way for new moms. Hang in there!

Shala November 16, 2010, 11:18 AM

Janna’s math is right. Although it has to be said that in China and Taiwan (not sure about other parts of Asia) children are indeed one year old when they’re born. We count when the year is finished, they count at its beginning.

As for the article, well, all it shows is that, first, I should stop being nice to pregnant people, and, second, that apparently I shouldn’t enjoy my food the way I do. I have never had a qualm about eating food I enjoy nor about the quantity of it. True starvation is not attractive and America has too many hungry people already.

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