I have to say I totaly agree. My Kids have never slept with us. They need their space and we need ours.

We put our DD in the crib from the very beginning and haven’t had any problems.

Regardless of a family’s sleeping method distance and lack of intimacy is the norm for a lot of couples following the birth of a child. Children change the whole scope of the relationship.

There are many factors why couples have stress in their relationships after the introduction of a child, their sleeping arrangements do not have to be the reason why.

In my case actually having our baby with us in bed has helped my relationship with my partner. We still find plenty of time to be together.

Some how couples have intimate moments outside of their bed as you can see there are plenty of co-sleeping families with more than one child.

I must say that as far as getting kids out of the bed to sleep on their own among my group of peers the struggles are the same regardless of whether it is a crib to bed transition or family bed to single bed.

Each person does their own thing, what works best for their family. But don’t assume the reason those couples have problems with intimacy has to do with the whole bed thing alone.

Puh-leeze. My babies all slept with me, and so far we’ve had no problem getting either the 5- or 2-year old into their own beds when the next baby came along. And considering we have managed to conceive 2 more since the oldest was born, we’re obviously able to have sex, as Sol pointed out being the case with many cosleeping families. If you people think sex can only happen at “bedtime”, or in your actual bed, you must have really boring sex lives. Maybe that’s the reason for your marital problems.

Also, how do you breastfeed with the baby in another room? Oh, wait - you probably don’t. Maybe that’s why you don’t have time to work on your marriage - you’re wasting your free time washing bottles and mixing formula instead of engaging in meaningful interaction with your spouse and child.

I’ve had them all, one a full time “cribber”, one a half and half kid, on a full time “mommy bed”. They are all great well adjusted kids. Mommy and Daddy have sex wherever, whenever we can sneak it. It’s fun, mysterious, and satisfying. No way is the right way. What’s right is what works for your family. Don’t even go there with that “Let’s start a debate stuff.” That’s so 2009.

no reason to bash others parenting, thats the WORST. only thought for the trolls today :)

my baby slept in the same room with me, but not BY me, as she flopped WAAY too much for me to get comfortable. she slept with us in the same room til about 6 months and thats when we said, ok enough, your going to your crib. and all is well :)

I totally agree with this post. My daughter never slept with us. And yes I did breastfeed. For the first few weeks she slept in a bassinet next to our bed then she slept in her crib. A friend of mine co-slept and they could not get their son to sleep anywhere else. The first step they had to take was to put a toddler bed in THEIR room.

Finally an article that is logical about co-sleeping! Adults belong in their bed together and babies belong in their own bed - period. And anyone who says their co-sleeper easily transitioned into their own bed a 1, 2, 3, etc is a liar. ALL of my co-sleeper friends regretted doing it with their first and NEVER did it again.

We co slept, I nursed on demand. We practiced child lead parenting for the most part and I’m sure someone like you would be absolutely shocked at the positive results. We have four children. My marriage is incredibly strong. My children are all independent and able to sleep in their own beds as well as go down without a fuss every single day. They have surpassed their milestones and are well mannered polite kind children. Not to be the sanctimommy but meeting your children’s needs both physical and emotional has such wonderful positive impacts.

There was no lack of intimacy between my husband and I because we were more than happy to be intimate elsewhere. We were able to hold conversations in hushed tons over our sleeping baby. We held hands instead of had sex in the bed. We cradled each other while we cradled our baby. He was just as happy to wake up to the sound of a peaceful baby as I was. Parenting and finding was to still be husband and wife has brought us closer.

Disparaging other parents choices doesn’t enter into any of that and I don’t understand if your so comfortable with your choices why you feel the need to do that.

I had 3 children, all 3 of which were breast fed for 3-12 mos. The first 2 were placed in their own cribs and beds, having no problems with sleeping (the first, in fact, often slept through the night from about 2mos. of age on). My last had problems accepting the crib so I chose to bedshare.

With the last, I had problems getting him to sleep in his own bed for years. He was almost a teenager before I finally convinced him to sleep in his own room by himself. He had problems with bedwetting, being afraid of the dark, insomnia and was not comfortable with sleeping over at his friends’ homes either.

In reflection, would I co-share a bed again? No. It’s fine to co-share a room for a couple of weeks while mom gets her strength back or heals after a c-section, perhaps, but children and parents need a little bit of alone time. They need that place that is “theirs” where they can have a thought to themselves and relax. It’s good for the psyches of all involved.