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Don't Find Out Your Unborn Baby's Gender!

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Guest blogger Jill Simonian: If God wanted us to know the sex of our babies before they are born, He would've made a window. I'm going to make a playfully arrogant claim that people who insist on finding out the gender of their unborn babies don't like to have a good time. As someone who was recently granted her wish of having a girl, I will unabashedly urge pregnant women everywhere to NOT find out the sex of their babies before the birth.

ultrasound scans of unborn baby
Most people think I'm crazy for thinking this way. Throughout my pregnancy, friends asked, "Don't you need to know to prepare?" Prepare for what? It's a baby. It will eat, sleep and poop, regardless if the room is pink or blue. It won't know what color its blankets are, and it won't care! I'm not being heartless, just practical. I love my little girl, and the fact that she wears white and green newborn outfits does not make me love her any less!

Three reasons to keep your baby's gender a mystery:
1) For the spectacle of it all. It's fun! Never underestimate the element of surprise. Even the most jaded friends and family will be much more intrigued about your pregnancy. Everyone will have a wacky old wives' tale to tell you (i.e., how you're carrying, if you're "glowing" enough to be having a boy, what your Chinese birth chart says, etc.). Be enigmatic. Keep all parties guessing -- including yourself! Every single person in my husband's family insisted I was having a boy. When my little girl was born, I couldn't help but gloat just a little. It was like a game for all of us. There are too few surprises these days ... give yourself just this one. There is no other "wow" moment that compares to the "It's a ..." announcement in the delivery room. (If you're like me, it might be the only motivator that gets you through delivery with some sanity.) Also, it will be as fascinating to others as it is to you. People will be calling, e-mailing and traveling from miles away asking if it's a boy or a girl. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. Trust me.

2) For practical purposes. You will get gifts that you actually NEED. Think about it: Will you really use those fifteen hot-pink tutus or duplicate train sets that people carted to your baby shower because they all knew what you were having? The last thing I wanted to spend my hard-earned money on was a bunch of boring swaddling blankets, burp cloths, onesies and Diaper Genies. Let others spend their money on the useful stuff. Then, you can have fun getting those adorable tutus or snazzy train sets once the baby gets here. And if you plan on having more than one kid, those unisex items will come in handy years down the line. (Green looks great on most everyone.)

3) To keep your priorities in check. The silly things I thought about early in my pregnancy dissolved. Rather than focusing on pink princesses or blue cars and spending a ton of money to decorate a room I'd eventually have to change, I instead found myself thinking about important things, like how lucky and blessed we were to be having a baby. Why ruin the purity of pregnancy with commercialized crap? I'm usually not so Zen, but this I feel strongly about. Not knowing the sex will keep you grounded.

So, it's settled. Finding out the sex of your baby before it is born is ordinary. Surprising yourself and others is extraordinary. Whether you agree or disagree, I'll make my final point: I didn't find out, and I got what I wanted. The only way for me to deal with myself was to make the commitment to NOT FIND OUT. My friends thought I was nuts. Now I think it's one of the best choices a pregnant woman can make, regardless of whether she's hoping for a certain sex or not.

next: Holiday-Shopping Lessons from My 11-Year-Old
35 comments so far | Post a comment now
Sunny December 18, 2010, 8:38 AM

Hmm well- here’s the thing. You don’t make the decisions in my family. You are also most certainly not the Word of God or even the Mouth or technically even the Hands (since it’s a typed message) of God. Dogging on women for wanting to find out what they are having is ridiculous. I found out and I didn’t get 10 train sets for my son. I got more blankets than I needed, but for the most part, my baby shower gifts were pretty practical. Basically, to each their own. Finding out the sex isn’t harming their unborn baby and it’s each family’s right to do so.

Pamala December 18, 2010, 10:55 AM

God did make a window, it’s called an Ultrasound.

Seriously did you not have any ultrasounds at all? No tests at all? I mean God obviously didn’t mean for that either.

Monica December 18, 2010, 1:49 PM

While not knowing is a great surprise knowing is just a exciting. Many mothers to be dream of what they would do to decorate a baby’s room if it were a boy or a girl. If I have a girl it would be grey and pink or pink and brown. Or when I had my son I had a red and navy blue nautical theme. I had fun decorating the room and picking out clothes and all the like. Even recently a friend of mine told me she was having a girl and I lost my mind at the store and bought all the cutest girl item I could find! So even friends and relatives even enjoy the fact of knowing what you are having. Point is, I’ve waited soooo long for my little dream to come true so I want to go all out to prepare for their arrival and knowing helps me make that dream baby room or wardrobe come true.

Anonymous December 19, 2010, 11:41 AM

Except for the reference to a fantasy, this is an unusually charming piece for momlogic. Well done, Jill.

I do have a small quibble, though. Why is a girl not allowed to have a train set? I had a couple when I was little and I’d definitely get at least one for any chid of mine who wanted it. You might not want gender specific colours in the bedroom, but you do seem to be concerned about gender specific toys.

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sara hull April 4, 2011, 7:58 AM

I found out the sex of my first and nEVER regreted it, and I want to find out the sex of my second, I ‘m the kind of person that needs to prepare and then I can relate to the baby , everyone has their own opinions n=but that doesnt mean one’s is better then the others soo if you want to find out DO IT!!!!!! you’ll have no regrets because when they are born its still exciting!!! soo keep your opinions to your self and I dont believein GOD!!!!

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