Tracy McArdle: On the first day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... six trains a-breaking, five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... seven sippies spilling, six trains a-breaking, five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... eight socks a-missing, seven sippies spilling, six trains a-breaking, five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... nine nose a-wipings, eight socks a-missing, seven sippies spilling, six trains a-breaking, five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... ten bath toys molding, nine nose a-wipings, eight socks a-missing, seven sippies spilling, six trains a-breaking, five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... eleven diapers leaking, ten bath toys molding, nine nose a-wipings, eight socks a-missing, seven sippies spilling, six trains a-breaking, five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my toddlers gave to me ...

... twelve tantrums peaking, eleven diapers leaking, ten bath toys molding, nine nose a-wipings, eight socks a-missing, seven sippies spilling, six trains a-breaking, five grubby fingers, four crying fits, three fresh words, two torn-up cards and a knocked-over holiday tree.

Tracy McArdle is a published author ("Confessions of a Nervous Shiksa"; "Real Women Eat Beef"), blogger, mom, wife, horsewoman and communications professional in the Boston area. She is also a former Hollywood publicity executive who has worked very closely with numerous huge movie stars she never met. You can read more of her writing at www.tracymcardle.net.