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Mother's Day Ended My Marriage

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When my husband decided to blow off Mother's Day, all hell broke loose.

upset wife and husband

Guest Blogger Cheryl: I love holidays and Mother's Day is no exception. I enjoy that one day where you are made to feel like a queen. The one day you are rewarded for all of your multitasking, effort, and dedication to being a mom. I usually get breakfast in bed, back rubs until I fall asleep, flowers, and help around the house. Mother's Day this year, however, will go down in history as my absolute worst.

I knew Mother's Day was off to a bad start when my husband informed me the night before that the holiday had nothing to do with him and it should be between me and the kids. Are you kidding me? Is this the way men really think and my husband just happened to voice it aloud?

In the morning, I was handed a cold cup of coffee by my husband. My card and gift were left downstairs. The card and gift had been bought hours earlier after my husband asked me, "So, what do you want anyway?" No thought, no advance planning, no special effort put forth at all. It was so disappointing.

What bothered me the most about the day was the fishing trip he took with the kids. I was expecting some help with projects, someone to pamper me, and kids around to make me feel like the most special mom in the world. Instead, I ended up at the gym burning off the upset while watching dads juggle their kids so their wives could go have some fun on Mother's Day.

Honestly, ruining a mom's Mother's Day is a really rotten thing to do because it is the one holiday that honors the sacredness of what we do day in and day out. It isn't easy being a mom. Do we make it look so easy that some men feel it requires no celebration at all some years?

My mother tells me to never let someone else ruin my day. She is right, trust me. But it doesn't take away the feeling of being emotionally robbed on the most precious holiday in the world to mothers. I chose to sleep on the couch that night. My husband chose to move out. Mother's Day essentially marked the end of our marriage.

Many people have asked me how I will handle Father's Day with my husband out of the house. Some offered horrible suggestions to make it as miserable on him as possible. Gotta love those girlfriends! But, because I am an exceptional mom, it will be a nice Father's Day for him because I will be sure my children know what true kindness is. I will have the kids make him the best homemade cards ever and bake and package up his favorite cookies in a nice box the kids can decorate with thought, love, and care.

I will do this because there is no room for anger, spite, or ill will when you raise children. Children model our behavior as they watch us handle conflict. I want my children to know they have a strong, loving, and kind mother now, yesterday, and every day, no matter what cards she is dealt. If my children can learn that lesson from this, then the crappiest Mother's Day in the world was well worth the pain.

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15 comments so far | Post a comment now
melissa May 9, 2011, 5:56 AM

Is this the same article as last year?

zandhmom May 9, 2011, 8:35 AM

Repeat…this site has gone way down hill! What’s up with that???????

LL May 9, 2011, 5:30 PM

Totally stupid - this woman is a spoiled brat.

hillary May 9, 2011, 7:25 PM

you’re a bit crazy and set yourself up for a letdown! does he help most of the time in general and provide for your family? i did not get b-fast in bed or roses etc but i did get a great husband who helps everyday when he can and works hard for us. please it is not about being a princess unless you are too immature to see what you DO have. get real!

Debs May 10, 2011, 8:07 AM

I’m sorry your marriage has ended, but, surely, there has to be more than this to explain why? Mother’s day is a day I have no patience with. The same goes for father’s day, Valentine’s day, and every other ‘special’ day advertised by the companies that trot out flowers, chocolates, and cards. Where would they be without the success of their advertising?

I do like Christmas, I admit, and birthdays are special. But to end your relationship with the father of your children simply because he didn’t make breakfast in bed for you, it seems extreme. There HAS to be more to this.

Sara May 12, 2011, 12:07 PM

This does sound like a bad day, but maybe your expectations were too high.

Renae  May 12, 2011, 9:52 PM

This is stupid. You obviously acted like a spoiled brat over a stupid Hallmark holiday. No wonder your husband was pissed. You could have done things for yourself or did things you enjoy that day instead of pouting, because your husband is obviously a good father who does things with his kids so that you can enjoy time to yourself, and that is a gift in itself.

Debi May 13, 2011, 5:51 AM

Umm…. you are not your husband’s mother. I agree that mother’s day should be between the kids and you. All they have to say is happy mothers day. We love you. Your husband took the kids, you could have done whatever you wanted. Instead of going to the spa or getting your nails done you decided to let your anger boil all day.
You let your marriage go for a hallmark holiday? How stupid was that? Now your kids see you as someone that is willing to give up a lifetime with their father over one stupid day.

KLW May 13, 2011, 12:09 PM

Obviously, there were already issues in your marriage and Mother’s Day was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Maybe you should focus more on the blessing of your children and less on what you did or did not receive.

princess May 13, 2011, 1:26 PM

why do u spend all this time wanting something but ur man been with u through ups and down

sad May 16, 2011, 4:45 PM

what makes me sad is thats not what mothers day is about. my husband doestn do cards or anything like that and i dont fault him for it, he plays with the kids for a bit in the morning so i can have a bit of time to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, i dont ask for it but he does it any way everyday which to me shows he appreciates all that i do for our family. This years was bad not because of not having the “perfect” mothers day but because instead of enjoying the day with my family i had to stay in bed due to having a miscarriage the night before. So instead of divorcing over a seemingly bad day be thankful/grateful for what you have and be a family.

cj May 18, 2011, 8:11 AM

I was surprised when I read your mothers day story and the comments it received.

The main thing is the fact that you needed your husband to be more considerate of you and used the holiday as an easy way for him to find a reason to do so. He failed. You were hurt, because the pre-existing situation that you tried to alleviate was made worse.

But you already knew there was a problem or you would not have put so much hope in mothers day.

Don’t focus on mothers day any more. don’t end your marriage because this happened.

Talk it over with him and tell him you need more attention from him and hoped to get some on mothers day. Tell him when he did not play along it made you realize that your emotional needs are not being met and does he feel that his emotional needs are not being met as well. Decide what the two of you can do to get back together if possible. When you talk about splitting up, tell him that HE will get the children to take care of. That will sober him up right away.

Good luck.

The guy in China.

Debs May 18, 2011, 12:02 PM

Wow, I hope Sad put things into perspective for you.

Sweets May 23, 2011, 12:39 PM

OK….Here is the deal with Mother’s Day, well at least for me.

Everyday I get up around 5 AM and get everyone up, coffee, lunches and everthing ready for work and school….at 8:30 AM it’s time to start a 9 hour day at the job, then after 5PM…I have 1/2 hour to myself on the drive home. Once home work begins…note that was my first break of the day. I cook dinner, set the table, clear the table, do other house clean up…then kids off to bed, my shower in at PM because I don’t have time in the AM…and 1/2 of TV and then start my day again…OH and weekends…I get to sleep in once every 3 months.

So mother’s day I don’t want gifts I want my family to let me sleep, bring breakfast, what do you want to do on Mother’s Day.

Know what I got….Hum sorry it’s not your day, my family is having a child’s party and we are attending it…well at least not me.

For me it’s not about the presents…it’s about let’s give her one day for all the days she works her tail off, we were not home on Valentines Day, nor we home on her birthday…now not home on Mother’s Day.

I would never cheat but a bit heart broken, because I do it for them and want just a little love back.

REALMOM May 31, 2011, 9:19 AM

This is crazy, hubby must have been wanting to leave for quite some time now and he pushed the right buttons to do so. Sorry he’s a jerk off and you have the right to want to be a princess on mother’s day, hell i want to be a princess everyday lol.

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