Childless Bitch | momlogic.com
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childless bitch

I May Be Childless, But I'm Not a Disease

childless without a disease
Mommies, you've gone too far. I am utterly offended. This proves once and for all that you think human beings are uncivilized predators out to get you and your precious spawn.

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I Refuse to Get Your Baby a Gift

woman scowling at baby

Let me preface this by saying that I am not a scrooge. I love this time of year. I like dressing up and going to holiday parties. I like overeating and overdrinking. I like buying presents for my friends and family. What I don't like is buying a present for your baby. I'll explain.

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The Childless Bitch on Holiday Shopping

woman in a shopping mall
It's Black Friday and guess who will not be stepping into a mall today? Me!

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When Did Daylight Savings Become D-Day for Moms?

Mother and crying baby

One by one, I read the complaints on Facebook. Everything from "This is my second least favorite day of the year for baby Lucy -- my first is springing ahead," to "Daylight savings was invented by a man who never had to deal with a toddler," to "This is seriously messing with my kid's nap time." To which I say, what the eff are you crazy people even talking about?!

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Keep Your Kids Out of My Neighborhood!

childless bitch hates trick or treaters

Some people think handing out candy is fun. To me, it's just plain annoying.

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Is Your Baby Fined by the Fashion Police?

baby wearing pink head band

Yes, my ovaries shriek a little when I walk into a Baby Gap and pull out the tiniest sundress that is so precious if it were 40 sizes bigger, I'd totally buy one for myself. I dig baby fashion. With one giant exception -- and it's not Crocs.

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Junkies and Pregnant Ladies Have Lots in Common

annoyed looking woman

I just don't think "I'm pregnant" qualifies as a decent excuse to never call me back -- because you're not on drugs. You're just pregnant.

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No Bumps in the Club

pregnant woman in a dance club

While you were enjoying your cul-de-sac barbeque this weekend with 89 of your neighbors' precious children, I was in Las Vegas, enjoying one hell of a fabulous single girls' weekend. It was all to-die-for, except for one BIG bump that really killed the scene.

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