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Pisceschildless bitch
I May Be Childless, But I'm Not a Disease
I Refuse to Get Your Baby a Gift
Let me preface this by saying that I am not a scrooge. I love this time of year. I like dressing up and going to holiday parties. I like overeating and overdrinking. I like buying presents for my friends and family. What I don't like is buying a present for your baby. I'll explain.
The Childless Bitch on Holiday Shopping
When Did Daylight Savings Become D-Day for Moms?
One by one, I read the complaints on Facebook. Everything from "This is my second least favorite day of the year for baby Lucy -- my first is springing ahead," to "Daylight savings was invented by a man who never had to deal with a toddler," to "This is seriously messing with my kid's nap time." To which I say, what the eff are you crazy people even talking about?!
Keep Your Kids Out of My Neighborhood!
Some people think handing out candy is fun. To me, it's just plain annoying.
Is Your Baby Fined by the Fashion Police?
Yes, my ovaries shriek a little when I walk into a Baby Gap and pull out the tiniest sundress that is so precious if it were 40 sizes bigger, I'd totally buy one for myself. I dig baby fashion. With one giant exception -- and it's not Crocs.
Junkies and Pregnant Ladies Have Lots in Common
I just don't think "I'm pregnant" qualifies as a decent excuse to never call me back -- because you're not on drugs. You're just pregnant.
No Bumps in the Club
While you were enjoying your cul-de-sac barbeque this weekend with 89 of your neighbors' precious children, I was in Las Vegas, enjoying one hell of a fabulous single girls' weekend. It was all to-die-for, except for one BIG bump that really killed the scene.
