Editors' Note: The Bitch is back, ready to irk us again with another tirade. This time, she sets her sights on our kids' restaurant behavior. If you see her at your local eating establishment, buy her a drink--it's tough eating every meal alone.
Last night, I dined at a four-star restaurant with a surprise guest sitting at the table to my left. This 'surprise guest' was a 3-foot tall, rude, smelly, loud, and unwanted addition to my menu. Ring a bell? Well, it should because it was...YOUR child.
What the hell is going on in this world?! Mothers of America, you are clearly confused... again! Thank goodness I'm back and ready to clear things up. Bring your exhausted faces closer to the computer screen. Are you ready? Are you listening? Keep Reading...
Hey kids: Have yourself a giftless little Christmas.
For this Season of Giving I'm in the mood to spread a little holiday cheer. And what could be more cheerful than talking about buying presents? How about...not buying presents? Let's be honest. About 90% of your holiday shopping list is filled with people you don't want to buy gifts for. I like to call these people the "have-to's." You know the type--your boss, your kid's librarian, your mother-in-law. Or in my case, YOUR children. Yes, your little precious gems are burning a hole in my pocket. And I can't even tell them apart.
But for all the other days I will be in a mall or super-chain megastore, I think it's important to address the mother/child shopping etiquette that needs to take place this holiday season.
First and foremost, leave your child at home!
Shopping is intended to be an enjoyable activity. Why would you want to ruin this experience for yourself, the loved one you've dragged along and - oh, did I mention, every other human being trying to simply buy a gift card?! Keep Reading...