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Dani Klein Modisett is the mother of 1-year-old Gideon (pictured) and 5-year-old Gabriel. She is comedy writer/creator/producer of the show "Afterbirth...stories you won't read in Parents magazine." An anthology of stories from this show will be published by St. Martin's Press, in stores in May 2009. |
Mom Cashes In on Cash for Clunkers
I never thought I'd feel so lucky to be driving a new car. Not that I ever take a huge purchase for granted, but my husband and I just bought it last week with the Cash for Clunkers incentive. In the nick of time, since they've barricaded the doors on this deal a lot more quickly than it took to chisel them open.
Help! I'd Rather Eat than Have Sex!
There's nothing wrong with my husband, by the way. My husband is cute. It's me. I'm tired ... and I know it's the middle of summer, but I am not bikini-ready. I'm not even flannel-pajamas-lights-off ready.
Mommy from Another Planet
What have I been allowing my innocent child to be exposed to? No wonder eye-rolling and declarations of the superior power of aliens have become common occurrences at the dinner table.
Should Handbags Control My Purse Strings?
I don't know how I could have missed it, since the invitation read "Bag Lunch Fundraiser," but that's how far handbags are from my mind.
In the Falsehood
How could a TV show that came out of the real stories of real mothers who wrote in to a website just for them have strayed so far from authenticity?
The M Word
"Dani, does ... uh ... Gabriel ever take his hands out his pants?" a father of one of the little girls in my five-year-old's preschool class asked me when I came to pick him up from a playdate.
Nanny to Mom: You Suck!
My old nanny just couldn't quit blabbing and bragging about how good her previous job was.
A Failure to Plan is a Plan to Fail, Mommy Style
I usually had some kind of play date lined up, but that day I decided to" wing it," "be spontaneous" and "improvise."
My Mother, Her Movies
Some of my friends play mah jong with their mothers, others trade recipes or shop together to stay close.
When Thinner Isn't Better
How do you tell a woman who is excited to be svelte after several pregnancies that she's taken it too far?
Happy Birthday To Me?
I just had a birthday and my kindergartner feels compelled to tell everyone how old his mommy is. Why do I have problem with this?
Rebel -- Using Penmanship as My Cause
How do I raise a child to follow the rules when I am a born rebel?
The Crazy Relative You Can't Live Without
I recently decided to take my kids up to see my Aunt Thelma. She's 83 now and has had three heart attacks in the last six months. She's always been my favorite relative, regal in stature, a wellspring of compassion, and just this side of sane.
Why Didn't I Marry a Metrosexual?
I love the scent of vanilla citrus candles (soy only), the smell of the belly-button looking part of a ripe cantaloupe, 400 count Egyptian cotton sheets, and a good psychic -- one who can convince me that she senses my "energy" and tells me I've "done my work" and that she can "feel it" -- and cashmere socks, and a whole slew of other sensory stimulants that my husband either doesn't know about, doesn't care about, or mocks.
Mommy Who Doesn't Drink
The other rainy December morning I loaded Gideon, my 16-month-old, in the car to take him to music class. When we got back home at 10:15 (AM) there was a puddle on the bedroom floor from a roof leak, the dishwasher was broken and my babysitter called in sick.
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