How to Clean a Drawer (Or NOT)
Most of us have an endless abyss in our home called the "junk drawer" -- filled with everything from old batteries to packs of mustard. Instead of panicking when looking at mine, I embraced the chaos.
Halloween Tricks
One Halloween evening, when I was a restless 25-year-old living with and off my parents (in other words, a college graduate with a worthless degree in English Literature), I had the opportunity to play a trick on my mother -- three times.
Who Wants to Be Dirt?
Each year at Halloween, I roll out my short list of "The Most Original Homemade Costumes Ever" and try to sell them to my kids. "Dirt. Who wants to be dirt? It's an easy one," I nudge my son. "Come on, you can wear your brown pants."
When Will My 80lb Baby Stop Asking for Food?
Why does my teenage son get hungry whenever he sees me?
Getting Lost at the Wrong Time
Imagine this -- if the GPS had been invented before gunpowder, and credit card companies before the mint, Columbus would have found his way to India and whipped out some plastic to buy the exotic spices Isabella wanted so much. People take a lot of things for granted, like the uncanny order of inventions.
Why My Kids Call Me "Ditcher"
I raised my kids to be independent people -- good for them, good for Mommy. Is that such a bad thing?
Back-to-School Shopping with Hooligans
It may seem like a scene from the "Bourne Identity" series, but this was how my family shopped for back-to-school clothes.
Book Club Blues
I am quitting my book club. Last month, we had to read a 220-page nonfiction narrative about a grown man who lets a squirrel live in his house, called "A Squirrel Forever: The Story of Chippy."
The Evolution of a Refrigerator
The tale of a fridge -- from the days of green cheddar cheese to now.
Health Care Scam Revealed
Here's a story to leave you wondering about the state of health care in the U.S.
Strange Offers from Cold Callers
Chained to my resume-machine, as I am, I get a lot of strange calls.
My Job Search Has Reached a New Low
More desperate than ever, this week I shot out three letters seeking work never before performed. Wasn't there someone who said, "unemployment is the mother of invention", or was it the" root of all evil", the "reason I ate the cake"?
Too Much Information
All day long tiny little digital salesman knock on my email door to tell me about products to take away my wrinkles, my facial hair, my varicose veins, bad breath, crooked teeth, warts, athletes foot, body odor, itchy, toenail fungus, and straight, limp, frizzy, curly or unmanageable hair.
How to Get Service at Home Depot
The guys who work there and the guys who shop there are very helpful, but they like a certain style. Follow these rules and you too will come home with the right bit.
What's Earth Done for Me Lately?
What exactly DO I owe this Earth? How many sandwich-crust-covered bottles must I extract from my garbage? How many more hours must I spend tying newspaper? When will my debt to Mother Earth be paid? And when will I start seeing some reward?
Rejected: Diaries of a Mom for Hire
Everyone is working and making money -- even the sweaty principal who sent me a rejection letter: "We received many applications; thus, it was a difficult decision to make. However, we feel we have chosen a candidate that best fits our needs."
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