There are a lot of single parents in the world, but I belong to a little section of single parenting called "choice moms." I'm a single parent by choice -- not because I don't understand the importance of a father, but because I decided that while I would be OK if marriage never happened, I wouldn't be OK if I was never a mom.
Was it sunny that morning when my son's teenage birth mom went to the hospital? Was she alone? Though our lives are connected by mishap, trial and happenstance, she and I are two sides of the same coin. And one day, my son and I will be looking forward to finding her again.
Welcome to the single adoptive moms club, Sandra Bullock ... we're happy to have you. Many people end up being a single parent through circumstance -- divorce, the death of one parent, abandonment, etc. Me? I chose it.
The day I first met my son, we sat together with his social worker and foster parents out on the back deck of his foster parents' home. My son asked me if I was going to change his name after I adopted him. That simple question broke my heart. Here he was, 10 years old, and even something as basic as his name wasn't stable. But eventually we chose a new name -- a name that symbolized him choosing who he wanted to be.
Before I adopted my son, he endured abuse and mistreatment that would bring an adult to his knees. As a result, he sometimes has tantrums, rages and a hyper, scared (and somewhat strange) reaction when he's overstimulated. I can handle that. But why do I get so angry when he doesn't do the small stuff?