first response conception diaries

I Am So Excited to Start the Testing!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009
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Absidi: So this whole project still seems so surreal. I am so excited to start the testing and everything. I am so irritated that I have to wait so long for my period. I don't think I've ever been this excited to actually get my period!! I've pretty much read every single box completely through, ha ha!


The L.A. trip has given me so much hope. I am so freaking excited, I just don't know what to do with myself. I keep telling myself not to get excited, and not to get my hopes up because I don't want to be let down. I guess I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I don't want to be pessimistic, but after being let down so many times, I can't help but keep my guard up.

This project, though, I feel is different. Like, I just feel like it's going to work. I haven't had a chance to tell any of the girls yet, but ... From the time that we all met, I saw 5 pregnant women throughout my whole trip. The first one was after we had all met each other down in the lobby. We had just introduced ourselves, and as we were walking out of the hotel, we saw the first one. Gillian had commented about how she thought it was a sign. Then, as we were having dinner, we saw another pregnant woman. Then, at the airport, I saw another one, on the plane I saw one, and when my husband picked me up from the airport, another one. I thought it was so weird that there are 5 of us in this project, and during my trip I saw 5 pregnant women. It was weird.

My husband is so excited about everything too. It's so cute because he asks a million questions and keeps asking, "Can you start the tests yet???"

But the best part of this project for me is talking with the other women on momlogic. I have received so many supportive comments from the women on the site. It is so nice to be able to connect with these women. It's nice knowing that there are other people out there who know how I feel.

There was one person in particular that e-mailed me and said that reading my story was like reading something about her. She then explained her story to me, and said how it was so nice being able to talk to somebody who understands. It makes me feel amazing knowing that I am helping other women cope with this frustrating process. I enjoy being that person that they can vent to. I have such a hard time talking with my friends and family because they don't understand what it's like, so talking with these women has been so helpful to me, and I'm trying to be as helpful to them as I can.

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previous: Back in Sacramento
next: I Did My Fertility Test Today!

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3 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

I totally think seeing those 5 pregnant women is a sign. I say keep being optimistic and all your hopes will be materialized.
- teemah
Posted 05/07/09 12:30 PM
Hey Teemah =] Nice to hear from you! I hope it is a sign too! I can’t wait to see what happens!!
- Absidi
Posted 05/07/09 10:46 PM
- Feipfjbr
Posted 07/15/09 12:27 PM
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