Lately I Have Been Kind of Pessimistic

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Lately I Have Been Kind of Pessimistic

Friday, May 22, 2009

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Absidi: Joel comes home in 3 days!! I haven't ovulated yet. I am not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. I am a little nervous that I will not ovulate ... but I have been trying to be optimistic. I am hoping that I can hold off ovulating for at least 2 more days, because if I can do that, Joel and I will be able to "Baby Dance" (thanks, Gigohead!) during my window of opportunity!!

Lately I have been kind of pessimistic, as you can probably tell by my video. It's just that when Joel is gone, my mind automatically switches into what I call "deployment mode." I know he is only gone for a week, but every time he is gone for more than 24 hours, my mind unconsciously does the switch. The first couple of days he was gone, I was a little angry. I am not sure to whom exactly my anger was directed toward, though. I know that it wasn't Joel's choice to leave and I know he couldn't help it. It's just that trying to make a baby is hard work for some of us! I feel like I have been unfair to Joel.

I have my moments where I get angry because I feel like I am the only one trying, and in a way, I am. Joel wants a child more than anything in this world. I know that, our families know that, even our friends know it. We both know that his only requirement is to release his swimmers in me. I know that he can't do all of the things I have to do, but for some reason, I can't help but feel bitter. If I know all of these things, and I know Joel can't do what I can do, why am I still angry? Does anyone else feel this way or am I crazy?

Connect with Absidi in the momlogic community.

2 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

First off, what a beautiful picture of you and your hubby. You look so pretty! Secondly, I can totally relate to those feelings, its only natural. Lets face it, us women always end up doing everything. Like you said he has to release his swimmers, while you have to make sure youre ovulating and then carry a baby for 9 months. Goodluck my dear! And im sending pounds of baby dust your way! Dont stress out before you know it, you’ll be home with your baby and your hubby we be deployed and once again, you’ll be ‘doing it all’ :)

- Maria

Posted 05/22/09 10:13 AM

Absidi: Don’t put any unnecessary pressure on yourself. You maybe doing damage than helping the situation. Most women do not ovulate on the 14 days like clockwork. I discovered that I ovulated 18 days after my first day of my last period. This was when I was trying for my son over 15 years ago. I was much younger back then. I had to chart my temps each morning. I was always missing my window of opportunity. So I think you may have a “later window” than most women so just keep monitoring your ovulation and when you see the sign. Just go for it!!

- Gigohead

Posted 05/22/09 10:52 AM