Meredith: I feel like such a failure! Well, technically, I am a failure ... That's right, you guessed it -- I got another negative or NOT PREGNANT on my First Response Early Pregnancy Test. WHY!!!! What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I do the simplest, most natural thing in the world ... get pregnant?
I bet if I was 14, I would have no problem at all procreating. I seriously need to start considering my options.
Option 1. Keep trying and attempt to not let the disappointments push me further and further into a depression.
Option 2. Forget about getting pregnant. Be grateful for the son I already have and move on.
Option 3. Seek help from a fertility doctor. Get poked and prodded and let procreation happen in a petri dish.
Option 4. Consider adoption ... I hear the simple act of even considering adoption is enough to get some couples pregnant.
I have been trying so hard to remain optimistic through this journey, but it gets to be very difficult with each heartbreaking month. How can women do this to themselves, sometimes for years, without getting pregnant? I just know I can't. I can't! I refuse to try in vain for another year. I need to consider some of my other options. Crying for eight hours straight after a disappointing pregnancy test is not an option for me anymore.
In the meantime, I will wait for my positive surge. Let's hope for a big miracle ... or baby in my future.
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