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Meredith: This past week and weekend were nothing if not stressful. All I could think about was my upcoming early pregnancy test. I really have a feeling that I am pregnant this time. I have to be, right? I mean, after a year of trying, you would think I would get it right by now.
I can't believe how badly I want this. It really consumes my every thought. Actually, when I think about having a positive result, a wave of pure joy fills me up. On the opposite side, when the thought of another negative enters my mind, I can't help but be filled with an unbearable depression. The most natural of all things for a woman is to have a baby ... what is wrong with me?? Why can't I seem to get pregnant?
I am hoping that very soon I will be able to build a bonfire and throw all of my tampons, pads, and Midol in it, and do a baby dance around the flames. I will surely dance and scream and let the world know that I am finally pregnant. Until then ... I have my purse stocked and at the ready for my least favorite Aunt Flo.
Connect with Meredith in the momlogic community.
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