first response conception diaries

What's Wrong With Me?!?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009
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Meredith: This past week and weekend were nothing if not stressful. All I could think about was my upcoming early pregnancy test. I really have a feeling that I am pregnant this time. I have to be, right? I mean, after a year of trying, you would think I would get it right by now.

I can't believe how badly I want this. It really consumes my every thought. Actually, when I think about having a positive result, a wave of pure joy fills me up. On the opposite side, when the thought of another negative enters my mind, I can't help but be filled with an unbearable depression. The most natural of all things for a woman is to have a baby ... what is wrong with me?? Why can't I seem to get pregnant?

I am hoping that very soon I will be able to build a bonfire and throw all of my tampons, pads, and Midol in it, and do a baby dance around the flames. I will surely dance and scream and let the world know that I am finally pregnant. Until then ... I have my purse stocked and at the ready for my least favorite Aunt Flo.

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3 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

It’s so funny cause I feel the same way when I buy pads or pantyliners, how much should I get cause I may end up pregnant, right? A year later and no need to stop buying them. Everyone tells me it will happen when it’s meant to be or when I quit trying, but they never had to try. Anyway, I want to tell you that you guys are so brave to be doing this in front of such an audience. It is such an emotional experience and I can relate to it all, and in that way it helps me through my trials in trying to conceive!
- Meghan
Posted 07/08/09 07:49 PM
Hi Meghan, You and I are in the same boat. Every month I try to figure out if I should stock up on my “supplies”, hoping that they will be unnecessary. I get the same “It will happen when the time is right”. Screw right time…I want it now! I wish you all the best. Good Luck and baby dust!
- Meredith
Posted 07/09/09 09:30 AM
Good luck Meredith! When can you test??
- Gina
Posted 07/10/09 10:11 AM
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