Wendy: We waited the entire day and until after dinner to do the pregnancy test. I actually was able to get Kenny on video, which is a triumph in itself. I am very proud of him. We took the early pregnancy and it was negative. I am so upset. I thought that if I did everything I was supposed to do, the test would be positive. I am emotionally drained and really, really upset.

May 12, 2009
I feel much better today, considering yesterday's disappointment. I guess I am expecting perfection since everything has been going my way with dates and tests. I knew I didn't want to get too jacked up about getting pregnant because of disappointments like that. This sucks. Kenny was very sweet and told me that whatever God's plan is, it will happen.

Did I really wait too long? Am I really too old? Are we going to go through this life and not leave a piece of us to carry on our family?

Well, we did another pregnancy test again tonight. Negative. I'm speechless and all out of tears today. Don't know what to say.

May 13, 2009
Today is Kenny's birthday. We spent our day at the beach. Got some really good sun. I even have a little burn on my nose. Didn't think it would get that hot today. We talked about baby names & private school vs. public school. I got a text from a family member that said taking the pregnancy test in the morning is better because the urine is more concentrated. I need to ask that question to Dr. Ahlering.

Felt so good to not dwell on the two previous pregnancy test failures today so much, but now that we head home, I dread doing the pregnancy test later today.

The pregnancy is negative again. I am already numb to the disappointment. Maybe this just isn't meant to be....

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