I'm struggling with this...my sons father is not the most understanding person in the world. Ever since ive been with him (we are now apart) ive let him mak eme feel guilty and giving into what he wants me to do. He never picks up our (4 month) old son the same time ever. It seems to be on his convenience which usually seems to be during the week so he can have his weekend to himself to do whatever. I work, and mainly take care of our son, so id like to have a weekend to myself as well. Plus ever since he was born (our son) we have moved around (me and him) because his father and i would constantly break up and get back together. So i really want to get him on a routine and feel like he has a home. and to me being picked up int he middle of the week and brought back when his dad feels ilke it, is ludicrous to me. I work, his father does not. I take care of all the insurance and dr. appointments, his father doesnt. He does not even send me money. He also has no car. And sometimes the lights nad gas gets turned off in his home. and no one that lives there has permanent access to a car. So should i let him have say so when it comes to when he wants to pick up our son....please help.
Well, there are a couple questions I have to ask first and I don't mean to offend or upset you in any way. I assume you were never married therefore, just broken up and not divorced? Also, is there any paperwork in place that says he must pick up your son and pay anything towards him regarding anything? If not, I would just tell mr. deadbeat to shape up or ship out for good and mean it this time. You have a priority now and that is your son and no matter what mr. dad says or does you can't worry about that now, unless of course there is a threat to anyone's safety. I am going through a battle sort of like this right now with my ex-husband. There are a lot more "have to" in my circumstance though. It sounds to me that he just doesn't care, doesn't see the seriousness of what his son is taking from his lack of support and I personally wouldn't want my son to see what his father is. No electricity? No car? No job? What does he do when he has your son? Sit around and pick his nose? I wouldn't let him have a say in anything regarding the wellfare of your son and if he gets mad, go to court if you must but that is unacceptable. He has to grow up some time right? I mean he isn't in high school or college anymore, time to be a big boy now. Children need a schedule and feel a lot more secure and happy when there is a schedule in place. If he can't understand that kind of logic, he needs to open his eyes and take a look in the mirror. He could probably do well on a schedule too. It is going to suck, but thankfully that little man of your will grow up in a stable, loving, caring, heated and lit environment with a mommy that is doing a bang up job and keeping you both happy. You have to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are the shiznit, you can do this and you don't need him because he is no help to you anyway. I know all about the weekend thing and it is nice to have a weekend to yourself to put your mind back together but wouldn't it be better for you stress wise if your son wouldn't even be put in that situation? Lots of luck to you hun and deep down you know what to do, just be strong! Luck and love!