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Okay so I know I have to let my son cry it and soothe himself back to sleep. But, for how long? He cries for hours on end, and when he's done crying he wakes back up in like 20 minutes. He has a white noise maker, a soothing rainforest crib toy and he has a nightlight. I am getting tired of him getting up and I then he becomes a co-sleeper. I just want him to sleep through the night and it's just not happening.
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EACH CHILD IS DIFFERENT!!! i have 2 rock my baby 2 sleep everynight and prop a bottle just so she will stay sleep. im not a bad mom, my baby is very happy and content and knows ilove her. you do whatever you have to, let your baby help decide what way is best 4 him to go 2 sleep.
i agree with so many others, do what you feel is best for your son. books may be researched well but when it comes to your home and whats right for your family, you must deicide. what has worked in our home has been the 5-7 rule when its bed time we have our routine read a short story,give him his loveys and kisses and say goodnight and go.
If he crys wait a few then return5-7min later say again good night kiss and put him down agian. some times they just need to get out all thouse fussys.yes it is very tiering but i think it works faster than the cry it out method. i tryed with my daughter how is 3 yrs older than my son. I felt it made her feel like mommy was mad or didnt love her beacuse i left her. reasurrance to a little one is key in my oppion. just do what you feel is right for you.
I agree that letting them cry it out is not a good idea if that crying goes on longer than you think it should. Mother's intuition rarely lies. My first daughter slept through the night consistently from the second week. My second daughter is almost two and still does NOT consistently sleep through the night. So I'm right along side you in this boat. I think that every child is different, and they each need different things. I'll tell you what I have to tell myself every night: This will not last forever.
Thank you, Maureen, for your post above. Your remarks meant the most for me. I hadn't looked at it that way before. Hard to think of things this way when you are in the heat of it all... and SO tired.
I have a boy 20 months old and he sleeps with us a lot of the time. Usually he is sleeping with us due to not feeling well, teething, cold, anything like that. When he does not feel well he likes to cuddle. Is your baby the same way? It may be that he is teething and just uncomfortable and wants mommy to comfort him.
On the nights he does not sleep with us, he has started out in our bed. He cuddles to go to sleep and once he is out we then take him to his bed. On those nights he will sleep the whole night through.
I have never agreed with letting them cry themselves to sleep. If you put yourself in their shoes you would see why they cry. They are pretty much helpless and are left in a seperate room in a crib that they can't get out of and they are scared. All other times, mommy or daddy are there to help them and are there for them. This is strange to them and scarry. I would cry too. I also look at it in the manner that they see that mommy and daddy sleep with each other so why can't they sleep with someone. I just makes us all feel so loved to be able to have someone next to you in that bed. Think about it when you have to sleep alone, it is not always fun, it gets lonely.
I also have a 11 yr old boy and with both of my kids I have made sure that they have a special stuffed animal. When they are babies it has always been one that plays music. They both responded very well to this. They both love their stuffed animals and ask for them. Still my 11 yr old likes to sleep with a special one. It is comforting for them. Have you tried that? Target has some that are only $12 and you pull the tail or whatever and it plays and they get all happy and soothed. My little guy loves his so much that when he is ready to sleep he will ask for it and ask for the music, I hold him and right off to sleep he goes. I hope that some of this has helped, I know how hard it is, but believe me it will pay off in the end. I did all this with my older boy and we have the best realationship a mom could ask for. He even still likes to come and cuddle and that is just so special to me. Good Luck!
I personally don't believe in crying it out (cio). Fussing for a little bit is ok for me but all out crying? No way.
I think a child learns that they can rely on you when you respond to them. I remember MANY a night patting my oldest daughter to sleep when she was around your childs age. I would stay by her, lay next to her crib, pat her-whatever, until she fell asleep. She's now almost 3 1/2 and sleeps BEAUTIFULLY and securely on her own with a good night story and a kiss. I truly believe that that's because she KNOWS that if she needs us we'll be there.
I now have a second daugter (6 months) who won't cry it out either. Sure, thre 'results' may be quicker, but in the long term, I really believe it's better for your child to hug them and cuddle them to sleep. Besides, this time of their life goes by so quickly. Cherish it while they need your loving arms.
--Maureen
No mother wishes to be told she is doing something wrong. I know I love advice that begins with a question while I certainly pass up "advice" that sounds like a demand or insult.So, I will begin with a really deep question (be honest with yourself): are you truly comfortable letting your little baby cry without your loving arms?It sounds as though you are not, otherwise you wouldn't be writing such a desperate post. I have to ask a few questions...do you nurse? If so, does your baby fall asleep nursing (you could put him down once he is sound asleep). You could do this with bottle feeding as well. Don't be afraid to do this. It is totally and utterly natural. Babies need thier mommies. If your baby can't trust you, who can he trust. A baby has a voice (which is a cry). It means something. Why do we insist that babies will be spoiled if we respond to them? It is ludicrous. I urge you to search within yourself as a new mother and decide how you and your family want to live. Whatever gets your baby down peacefully is the best fit for your family in the long run. You can be assured that instead of remembering anxiety ridden nights of listening to your baby cry, you responded to your precious angel that you waited so long to give birth to. Your baby will be much happier when you respond with loving,warm and strong arms. It WILL all work out. I am tired of all the advice out there that goes against what a mother knows is best for her precious baby such as "cry it out". Question heartless advice. To what end as you asked. Exactly. When does it end? If your baby cries for hours the translation is a desperate plea for your help and love. Don't ignore him!
I truly hope this helps from mother to mother.
J (Chicago)
So how is your son doing? I thought I would check-in tonight (you & your son just happened to crossed my mind.) My daughter, almost 2, just went through a spell of sleeplessness and it was because I turned off her humidifier. Have tried using one of these as well? Maybe some warm moist air and the low whispy sound would help?
There is usually something wrong. He may be hungry, thirsty, dirty diaper,etc.We stay in a routine.Every night we get a bite to eat,Take a bath,and have a warm sippy cup of milk.Sometimes I get lazy and try and skip the bath and he let's me know that that's not going to work. He worships this routine and so do I.He even stays on a nap schedule during the day.Good luck to you, I know I love my sleep. They do go through growing spurts and will want more to sometimes.Mine has never liked sleeping with us.I was never a fan of it myself.He slept in a cradle next to us for the first 4-5 months and straight to his bed after this.If he's still crying after 15-20 minutes he needs his momma.
I know that everyone has an opinion, so here's mine. My baby (7 weeks) sleeps in a co-sleeper by our bed, which was the best investment we've ever made. I am breastfeeding, and it just makes the middle of the night feedings easier. I just read a book "The Lullababy Sleep Plan" and started using this technique for nap time and bed time. It eliminates crying until your child learns how to fall asleep on his own.
I am inclined to agree that maybe your baby is in pain if he cries that much and won't sleep...I would talk to my pediatrician, but I know when my son gets fussy and miserable from gas, a little Tylenol makes a big difference. It just seems to ease the pain so he can sleep a little longer...
Hmmmmmmmm, have you talked to your pediatrician? He may have an ear infection or be teething. Sometimes laying down is really hard and the pressure just builds in their heads so they can't sleep well.
As for co-sleeping I slept with my first until he was 20 months and slowly moved him out. My duaghter likes her space...she refuses to sleep in a crib she wants the playpen.
I really think you may need to talk to your son's doctor about his sleep habits.
Hang in there it will get better.
Are you sure he isn't gassy, teething or colicky? Babies don't cry just to cry and though I agree that sometimes it is just because they don't want to be alone. My 7 year old always had to have me in her line of vision or all hell broke loose. but to cry for hours on end tells me that something else is wrong. Does he calm down when you pick him up? Does it help to rub his tummy? have you tried feeding him a little extra, he may be growing and hungry. You need to start eliminating causes to find what is going on and if he is just afraid to be alone, you will just have to deal with that. Good luck and God Bless!
I can only tell you what works for me. You have to decide what's best for you and your son. I personally don't believe that babies cry for no reason. I have an 11 year old that did not like to be alone in her room. She preferred to sleep with someone. She slept in our room (usually in her crib) for 2 years. Then when I had my second child, the first slept soundly in a room with the baby. But even to this day, my oldest doesn't like to sleep in a room alone. My second, since birth, doesn't like to sleep in the bed with anyone and likes it dark with a little noise. I also have a 14 month old who still co-sleeps with us. You have to find what's healthy and best for you and your family.