One Mom confesses her recent infidelity.
One Mom explains: "I am having an affair with my son's basketball coach. My son is 8. The trouble is, we're both married. I had noticed how cute he was when my son joined the team, and all the Moms have crushes on him. But my husband really hates this coach and has clashed with him on more than one occasion. The coach asked if I could help him organize a team party. We met at a pizza parlor and ended up having dinner and drinks. He confessed he wasn't happy in his marriage, and asked me if I was happy in mine. When I faltered, he kissed me. Now, every practice and game is the highlight of my week, but I feel so guilty. My son would hate me for life if he ever found out. (I don't even want to think about what my husband would do.)"
What should she do?
Hey! She asked for opinions !! STOP with the people are judging stuff!! NO One should have to indure such a breach of trust ! You don't like your marriage get help or get out !! Using the kids as a reason to stay is the oldest EXCUSE in the book
I am that husband. My wife had an affair with our son's football coach last fall. She came clean about a month after the affair started. Granted, life was not grand in our house, but I never thought it would have gone there. I cannot begin to tell you how this makes a person feel. Every spare moment of every day I think about this. We have five children. I'm staying for better or worse.
whatever you are doing with the coach you are wrong. if you want to fool around divorce your husband then fool around. you are not only being dishonest and unfair to your husband you are treating your children the same way. disrespecting both. shame on you.
So tell me, did you ever organize that party? He played you, and he is sleeping wih some of the other mothers as well. He is a very selfish masn!! You deserve better!
Better yet, think what would happen if your son and husband found out. They'd be devastated and humiliated, for all to see. You owe them better than that.
Get out of it before it blows up in your face.
And what about STDs, pregnancy, HIV and AIDS! Do you really want them in your life?
Go ahead and continue to see the coach. At the same time start to train your husband to accept a cuckold style marriage. In time he will learn to appreciate you more and be happy to allow you to date other men. I have done just that with my husband and today he is happy to wait at home watching the kids while I spend a fun evening in the bed of my latest lover. When I get home, usually in the early moring, I find the house clean and a very happy hubby waiting to hear the details and taste the evidence.
My parents were very unhappy and stayed together for about 10 years. Once I went to college they got a divorce. Divorce at any age, under any circumstance, is devestating to the kids. You may only live once, but you made a promise and a vow to spend that life with your husband. We all make mistakes. Do whatever you can to make it work and move on. Believe me, your kids don't want split holidays, every other weekends, and step mommys and daddys. Unless your spouse is putting yourself, your kids, and your family in danger (physically, mentally, financially) or if they just want to leave you for the "significant other" just make it work. Your kids will respect you in the end.
Funny I read it three times never heard a negative thing about the husband..not even a positive one which tells me she is so infatuated with the other guy she can hardly mention him. Worst the husband hates this guy....I believe he smells a rat but not in the way he thinks.....Do him the favor and tell him why your leaving and leave....if you have gone this far go all the way. The consequences of empty pleasure will last a lifetime. When a man of low morality senses women in this stage he goes after them, you probably are not the first and wont be the last. If you somehow make it through this with your husband you will have to ask yourself if you deserve him for the rest of your married life.
I do not judge people for their actions as both my husband and I cheated on each other many years ago. Even if we hadn't, I still wouldn't judge. With all the people in this world, it is very difficult to not ever be attracted to someone other than your significant other for your entire life, no matter how committed a person you are. However, it is probably a good idea to not see the coach on the side anymore because it could lead into stronger feelings that could ruin the marriage. I let my affair go too far and we fell in love, which almost ended my marriage. I had to choose one man and I chose my husband. It took a long time to repair our relationship, but we did it and it made us stronger as a couple, so it can be done.
I suggest evaluating whether or not your marriage is worth saving. It could be that it's not meant to be after all or that you're just bored with the relationship. If I were you, I would try to do some fun things with my husband to see if the spark is still there. If not, then I say go for the coach (after the divorce). After all, you only live once so you might as well be happy. It never makes any sense to stay in an unhappy marriage, even if you have children. Believe me, kids always know when their parents aren't happy and they would rather you be apart than stay together for them. I wish you the best.
Every child deserves a family. Divorce is not the answer. You have two choices, A) Be honest with your husband and find out together what made you so unhappy and hope that he will forgive and forget. Counseling may be helpful. B)Don't tell him, figure out how to make yourself happy and try to live with the guilt. I myself went through a similar situation. A high school sweetheart found me on facebook and we had a few conversations about things in the past. He wanted to meet up and I declined, but if I HAD followed through I would've done something I would have regreted. Counseling was too expensive, but I did tell my husband. He did forgive me. I bought Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book, Start Living, Stop Whining. The book and my husband's support turned my life around, saved my marriage, and I'm the happiest I have EVER been! You married your husband for a reason. Stay married and help make your marriage better. Don't get a divorce.
Has it occured to you that maybe your husband doesn't like this man because he knows or suspects? My husband is not a jealous man by nature, but he can be a little defensive if another man turns his head at me.
Think about it.
You are soooooooooooo easy...how many other crush moms do you imagine he is also doing????????????
You've had your jollies, go home and hope your family never finds out.
Your poor son and husband...
What a bunch of self-righteous comments. Gosh!! What do you all know about that woman's relationship with her husband. Don't judge!!
Maintaining a long term happy marriage can be a lot of work. Remembering what was so wonderful about your husband that you just had to marry and then have children with him is hard from time to time too. But, it is worth it and I have seen the train wreck you are heading for in the lives of too many women not to beg you to stop what you are doing and fix your life before it is too late and your children and husband and friends all hate you and all you have is some guy who even if he leaves his wife and marries you is already known to be shallow and unfaithful... not much of a prize for all that you will lose.
Think about going behind your husbands back and seeing this guy.....Then close your eyes and picture your husband doing the same thing to another woman.....Does that answer your question.
let me start with this you NEED TO STOP this is not good for you or you child and believe me your child will one day hate you! Is it worth it. My husband cheated on me 2 yrs ago the damage it has done to me is unbeleavible you can not imagin the pain. How do you think you would deal with this if he your husband cheats on you. I will also tell you men do not move on as well as women. I am happy to tell you we did and have made it, lots of work and a huge amount of pain. Shame on you!!!!! You are selfish and I would tell you this, he cheated with you he will cheat on you!!!!!!!
Been there, done that but I was the coach! Voids in relationships are guaranteed, it comes with the territory and so do other humans that will fill them. I believe it is a clear opportunity to learn about yourself. I learned what was missing in my own life and after fixing myself, I repaired the relationship with my wife. I was fortunate to have surrounded myself with friends that compassionately told me what I didn't want to hear about myself, more importantly, I listened. Not only to them but to that small voice inside we sometimes call a conscience. It drowned out my ego and I was able to clearly see the destruction that would ultimately result from tearing two families apart simply because of my inability to see a bigger picture of life. It doesn't matter who finds out, you already know. That should be enough to make you realize you need a friend that will listen and be able to sort out your thoughts before your ego gains complete control of your decision making process. What does this other person provide that your spouse doesn't? This is a golden opportunity to learn about yourself from the inside out. With the right type of assistance, you will find that the source of happiness you so desperately seek will come from within, not from any outside source, like another human. Open your mind, become teachable and the teachers will come! It is simply your choice. No one guaranteed life would be easy, just worth it.
Confession is good for the soul.
Sweetheart, what you are doing is so despicable. You should be ashamed of yourself but my guess is you grew up surrounding by people telling you how wonderful you are. Don't destroy lives to make yourself feel better. When men do it, they're evil. The same goes for you. No one ever benefits from selfishness.
I think we choose to be happy or not. Circumstances do not dictate your happiness, you do. I think you should focus on your family and work hard to repair your relationship with your husband - not for your child's sake, but for your own. Divorce is not as easy as people try to make it sound. It is a life time of pain and guilt, especially if children are involved. Talk to your husband (you don't have to make any confessions...just explain that you think you both need to work on your relationship). Get focused on why you fell in love with him the first place.
your husband and son are the best things in your life don't give that up
stick it out and re-kindle
go to church and pray for forgiveness
You are having a mid-life crisis and are enjoying the attention of a new flig. Human beings by nature they now say, just like other animals, are not ment to stay together. If you believe that or not, when children are in the mix everything changes. Do I truly beleive he'd leave his wife, NO. Why, if he does, he's looking at possible life time alimony...child support...limited visitation rights, for he'll be painted as the villian and to a point he is. Your no saint for you allowed it to go on. In your case, should you leave you husband, he'll pay you alimony depending on the state, and he'll pay child support, and you break his heart, screw up your kids and for what... a fling? You got butterfies...do you think this guy might have done this with other women over the course of time? I think so.
I recommend you seek a marriage counselor and sex theaphist, to try to spark your marrige back to normal before you not only screw up your life, but two others. If you husband is abusive, mean, hostile, drunk, druggie,...then leave him. If he's boring, stale, no spark, no fireworks, then fix it, dont walk away and take the easy way out.
Remember, if your coach is willing to flirt/have sex with you, and you bailout on your husband, what makes you think the coach wouldn't flirt/have sex with the next younger edition that comes along to basketball class.
Time to wake up.. your not 21 anymore!
This is not uncommon for any spuse to experience something like this and obviously your husband clashed with this guy for a reason, he already knew what might happen. Remember your husband knows you in and out so that means he knows who you will have chemistry with. You need to look at exactly what you want but odds are this guy knew what kind of person he was looking for and you are probably not the first, last or only one. Marriage is work and the effort you are putting into this affair you could be putting into redefining your marriage. As far as telling or not telling that is your personal choice, and a hard one at that.
please imagine what you would think or do if the tables were turned.These type of things never...and i mean never have a happy ending
what do you live in a fantasy world, read the paper , I read where people actually end up killing themselves or their kids over stuff like this...is this what you really want for a few moments of lust? I think not ..Please grow up
You are far from the worst wife ever. You have to decide if it is the attention that you are getting from this other guy or is it a relationship that you want. You also have to figure out if you want to be with your husband. Your husband probably suspects that he likes you because he is having confrontations with him. You have to worry about what is right for your life, husband or lover. Do not forget about his wife. She is not likly to take this sitting down either. I understand the attention thing from another man, because after awhile you do not get it from your husband, mine does not understand. I have not had an affair,but I cannot say that it does not interest me, because of attention and affection. Be real with yourself about your relationship with your husband and know for sure what this other man wants with you (sex or relationship) listen to all red flags they are the truth weather you like it or not. The longer this goes on the more likely it will be that you will get caught. Good luck and God Bless.
I think you should think about your son first and not your selfish needs. You are not only adding to the demise of his marriage but also your own. If you are both that unhappy you should both divorce your spouses. However, that is not the green light to keep dating him. If the other moms find out I am sure they will hate you, but wait until the other kids find out. END IT! IT IS NOT WORTH IT! PUT YOUR SONS FEELINGS FIRST. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK! You may also want to consider Marriage Counseling. What are you going to do sleep with all his coaches in whatever sport he participates in....
your the worst wife ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen, I'm just a kid, but I know as well as any that I would be devastated if I found out either of my parents were being unfaithful. I want you to think before you sign those divorce papers and ruin your son's life:Is this man really going to be faithful to you, if he can't even be faithful to his own wife? And is he really worth losing your child over? I doubt some playboy pirates coach is going to make you happy for the rest of your life. You should sit him down(when he's sober) and talk to him about this. You should also talk to your family.I know this seems like the last thing you want to do, but they have the right to know. Consider my words, the words of a twelve year old.
You have broken the boundaries of your marriage. I think you should stop your affair immediately until you seek professional advice. I would not tell your husband until you seek such advice and you are thru the chaos and can think clearly. Impact of deceit or divorce can have unpredictable affects on your children. You're not alone-best of luck whatever you decide
Cheating in any form is wrong. Your children as well as his will be harmed in so many ways for such a long time to come. Besides say he did leave his wife for you, your husband for him who's to say he won't repeat the cycle when he gets tired of you. It may feel nice to get certain types of attention that may have gone by the waste side in your marriage, but is it worth losing all you have (family, relationship, trust etc.)for a short period of "FUN and EXCITEMENT"
if he is ur real love then GET A DIVORCE (OH AND WITH THE SPRING BREAK MATTER... LET UR KID GO ITS TOTALLY FUN!!) LOL good luck
I applaud you for your honesty. No one ever sets out to have an affair and it's not an easy situation to be in, for sure. And statistically, relationships that start as affairs have a low success rate. But if you're in love, leave your spouses and be together- you can't go on cheating... at very least, for your kids' sake.
Get a life. Grow up. What if your son see's you kissing this man or worse?
Have a little respect for the husband you made vows to and quit giving the playboy coach a reason to chuckle behind your husband's back. In addition, imagine what your child would go through if some other kids found out, and started teasing him on how the coach is sleeping with his mom.
She just said that her son would hate her if he knew and can't imagine what her husband would do - and she need's advise on what to do next? That's beyond sad. Try acting like a responsible adult whose child and family should be a top priority.
Sounds like a Lifetime movie. In fact didn't they make one about this subject?
honestly if you are not happy in your marriage you should get a divorce. i do not believe in staying married only for the chidren. children pick up on things and over time it has a big effect on them, etc. if your son found out you were having a relationship with his coach or any man and were cheating on your husband, his father, would he have feelings of resentment towards you? two wrongs do not make a right. if you are unhappy then i would do something about it and when and if things are legal so to speak then you can have a relationship with his coach or any other man. i would not want you to regret this as it can have devistating effects on not only your life but your son's and yall's relationship. good luck and think about all the consequences.