Moms discuss whether or not religion is required in their children's upbringing.
When we posted "Desperate" for the Kids to Find God?, we found that there were many varying opinions on the issue. April said: "I think parents should take their kids to church. No this is not "forcing" them to go, no more than we "force" them to go to school every day. ("Forcing" makes it sound like a bad thing.)
This is simply giving them the opportunity to know God. Why should we deprive our kids of that? There is no "forcing" about it. Using this logic, I also "force" my kids to take a bath every night, "force" them to eat their veggies, and "force" them to put on clean underwear every day. This is just being a good parent, people!"
Guiliana responds: "I don't force my kids to go because I'd rather emphasize spirituality with them rather than religion."
Do you think making your children go to church is a positive influence, or should they be allowed to decide for themselves?
i dont think no kids should go to church till they really understand it
This is a difficult situation and decision for you. Kids and teens have the hardest time with church. It's great that you are active and that you seek after religion in your life. Religion is important in life. Although, making and telling your kids to go to church tends to make them rebel and retaliate. I feel that maybe asking them if they want to go and inviting them and letting them know you would love to have them there as a family is incouraging, but by telling them they have to it will make things worse. Growing up we had the option of going. My parents invited us, but never told us we had to. I'm an adult and have been on my own for a while and I am active in church and I enjoy going and love to go. My brother is the same. I think they will come around and have their time when they want to go. By your example, they will see that church is important. :)
My son and daughter in law quit going to church years ago. Now they are looking for a Boarding School for girls.This young girl refused to go to church, so eventually they all quit. Now she refuses to go to school. Eventually she was kicked out of school. She has been in trouble with the law, sasses her parents and runs the roost. The blame is on my kids. They let her run them and everything else in their life. She has upset the whole family. No Morals, no God and no respect for anyone. Parents are supposed to be in control. If you go to church the kids go to church. It makes them more well rounded. Besides you can't have a logical conversation bout God or religion (pro or con) if you know nothing about it, no matter what your religion. There is good and bad in everything in life. I was abused my whole young childhood. Not by a priest, or minister, or foster parent, but by my own dad. I don't blame anybody. But I give thanks to God for His son for bearing the sins of my father and myself. My faith in God is what saved me from turning to drugs and booze and being promiscuous. Faith is important. Mine came to me through my friends parents and watching religious shows on TV. It got me through my teen years for sure.Not the crap the kids are allowed to watch today!!!! So think of religion as an extention of your childs education. They will decide for themselves no matter what you do as adults. But they might choose good over evil, right over wrong when tempted by their peers to try something new and fun and could get them hurt or maybe even dead while they are teenagers. God and His teachings won't hurt you. Humman's are not perfect. So don't blame any and all for any injustices done to you or someone else. Teach your children to mind you and be respectfull of all things. And Pray to the God (of your choice) that He (or she) keep them safe and from harms way. In the mean time be their guide and take them to church, or a Ward or a Synagaoue or Masgue (sorry not spelled right), but teach them love and tollarance and goodness and to do what is right. And yes I believe when they are little this should start. Not when you are looking for a boarding school or going to visit them in juvinile detention. Being a good parent is a hard job. Be their friend when they are all grown up. Until then you set the tone and the rules. Parents must be respectful to one another in front of their children too. Take those heated fights or arguments out of the childs veiw and ears. They feel guilty like they made you fight when they are little. But when they get older if they have seen this kind of behavior instead of respect and love between parents they will use it like a Pro on the two of you (parents). Quit being such softies and parent. And prayer NEVER hurts. I never saw my parents pray together. Thank God I saw my firends parents I visited pray before meals and they asked me to church and it made ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE. My brother did not have that help and became an addict. So I know GOD WORKS! ===
Yes, hopefully from an infant on. School during the week and church on Sunday. A sense of belonging and a foundation of faith.
I grew up in foster homes and I am very confident that I was forced to attend every kind of church there is. I was in 23 different homes in less than 10 years...It was in my last foster home that I was molested by the father figure. They were faithful in attending their church (Four square pentecostal) His wife made clothes for orphaned kids. I will never forget that church as the minister failed me in my time of need. Just like the catholic church has failed so many children. If religion is so necessary then why do people have to search for a church that fits instead of just walking to one in their neighborhood? Ministers, priests etc are a dime a dozen, I tend to be more drawn to the minister who works a regular job to support his family and preaches on Sunday drives an ordinary car, doesn't have expensive suits and haircuts. I think I will pass the test in the end...What about you?
Well, I do force my 13, and 18 year old to go to Church..I have not given them a option...After speaking to a friend he told me I should not do that..it might have the opposite effect..I told my children they can come with me every other Sunday and they seem to be very happy..
mom
i was made to go to sunday school and church and i hated every minute of it. not because of the message but because of the people. these people were the most immoral, gossipy, judgmental people i'd ever been around.
my daughter just turned 13 and at her grandmother's pressure began confirmation class. there she found the children of these same people i went to church with to be immoral, gossipy, and judgemental.
my children will find their faith on their own as i did for myself.
with that said,
namaste.
Did you know that our creator actually instructs his followers to teach their children about him? I found some helpful info in the bible regarding this. It's at Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse 6&7.I appreciate that the verse also mentions that his commandments have to be"on your hearts" (parents) before you teach it to your children, so if you want them to follow the right way you must do so yourself 1st.
I took my child to church every Sunday and holiday since they were born (as my parents did with me) Their father was very religious and didn't take any excuses as to why they couldn't go. Two years ago my husband died after an accident and all the children and I found going to church much more difficult. Mostly because the church reminded us of him and we all slowing stopped going. My oldest son is in the navy and goes to services now where he is stationes. My daughter and I will go to other churches and are still trying to find one to "fit". My youngest is still resisting going but I believe that the core faith my husband and I instilled in them will bring him back. It is so difficult to force a teenager to go.
to mom to divas,
I don't think anyone here is going to hate you for raising your daughter the way you feel is best. This board seems to be visited for the most part by people who are very open minded which is one of the things I like about it.
sounds as though i am the only non religious parent here so far, spiritual yes, religious no. 1st, i do not, nor do i plan to attend church. My daughter is almost 6, she is free to go to church any time with her grandparents..if she wants to go she goes, if she does not want to she stays home. i would never force my child. my father was a prreacher and forced me for 20 years, in that 20 years i was raped and molested multiple times (in an appostolic church). I still despise my father for making me go after he knew. we changed churches many time and it never ended. On my 20th b'day i told him no..and he has never asked since. my daughter attends a christian church and never leaves my grandmothers side or she will not be allowed to attend with them again. I allow Temple to make her own decisions on religion and always will. Who am i to force soemthing on her..would you force your child to believe that 2+2=5 even if that was what you were told and knew it not to be true..no..so she will make her own decisions. i belive thats what we should do..give them the chance to see ALL points of view and make their own decision on this matter...hate me if you like..but my child is happy and prays to god every night before bed and i have a cigarette and a shot of crown outside...its out life and we like it
I think that it is important that either way the child is exposed they can hear your opinion at home. I was not raised "in a church" but my husband was and we both think that by being honest and exposing our kids to our beliefs that as they get older and ask questions they will form a very personal foundation.I am very faith oriented but I dont think that CHURCH is a must have. To each his own. As long as you are satisfied with your childs growth and curiosity that is what matters.
All of my children have always enjoyed going to church so I have never had to force the issue our church is a fun place for the children. I think they would deeply miss their church family if they were not able to go. I know when we are on vacation they miss our local church. However, I do consider their spiritual education to be a mandatory part of their education as a whole so church is not really optional at our house just as school is not optional. If one of my children did not want to go for some reason to church or to regular school I would spend time finding out what had happened that caused them to dislike our church and then we would go from there.
I don't think that making them go is a bad thing, but I do believe in giving them a choice once they reach a certain age. My kids know that when they are at my house on a Sunday, they must attend church with us as a family, because that is what we do. If they get to stay home, then our 7 year old wants to stay home too. My 13 year old stays with his dad on the weekends so that he doesn't have to go, my 16 year old goes every Sunday as well as to ALL of the weekly activities. He made a choice at the age of 8 to be baptized and has stuck to his commitment. My 13 year old chose not to be baptized and does not attend. My 7 year old is looking forward to his upcoming baptism in November when he turns 8 and we will support him in whatever he chooses in the future. You can give your children the tools but God has given us all free will. I have seen so many kids from very active families fall away from the church, but most of them eventually come back. Once you learn the principles, it makes making bad choices really hard. Even my 13 year old! He has learned the basics and he has learned from his brother's example and I know that no matter what he chooses regarding church in the future, he will be a great person because he has had good examples in his life.
I don't see it as forcing my children to go to church, I see it as giving them the tools to be able to choose their faith (or lack thereof) when they are older. They can have whatever beliefs they choose when they are older, but it has been my experience that children raised without any faith (by parents who were religous but didn't want to impose) will not have any faith as adults. That is their choice but maybe some things in their lives might be easier with the possibility of a faith support.