So my husband and I have been together for about 7 years. During that time, there have been many a gift exchange between my mother-in-law and me. (I have a great relationship with my MIL. She watches my baby 2 days a week while I work.) At Christmastime, she is always even-steven with all of the gifts for her children and their spouses. When birthdays roll around, however, it's another story.
In my family, my mom treats my husband like another child, and she spends the same on gifts for him as she spends on gifts for me. My MIL, however, spends exponentially more on my husband than she spends on me. This past year was rough financially for my in-laws, and I knew that, so I wasn't expecting much. Normally my birthday gift is around $100. (Very generous.) This year they gave me a $25 gift card. I didn't think a thing of it because I knew times were hard.
She normally spends much more on my husband (his age times 10). It bothered me that she did not spend even amounts on him and me, but I just decided that she must spend more on her blood children than on her in-laws. Then today I found out that she spent at least 4 times more on my brother-in-law's wife than she spent on me for her birthday gift this year. Ouch. Then she started talking about how her own birthday is coming up and how she is going on a shopping spree - new shoes, new purse, etc. I thought times were hard! I thought she was cutting back! I guess she was just cutting back on her gifts to me?
I know that she did buy a lot of gifts when my baby arrived last year, but she said that those gifts were for the baby, not for me. I guess I just don't know if I am justified in being upset over this. I hate to seem immature, but it just really hurts my feelings that she would spend SO much less on me than on everyone else. Is it because she provides free childcare? Is it because I have a kid now, so her money will be spent on the child and not me?
Does anyone else experience this sort of problem? Please help! I just need to know that someone else has a MIL like this.
I have never understood the idea of comparing how much someone spent on someone else to how much they spent on me. The fact that someone went out of their way to give me a gift at all is enough to make me happy. Other peoples money is not my own and I am not entitled to "a fair share" of it. Even if they are my relatives. I have taught my children that we need to LOVE people and USE things. Too often it seems lately that we as a society tend to do just the opposite.
Sounds like your husband grew up with the silver spoon and you had a plastic one. Have you told your husband how you feel about his family flaunting the money situation in front of you and your child? See if he would be willing to confront his parents to have them "cut back" on the extravagent amount of money they spend, so everyone feels more on an even playing field. Suggest to them that their money may be better off if placed into a savings account for their grandchildren. Hopefully they will understand that not everyone is as well-of as they are and will try harder not to flaunt that fact to those of us how wish we were. Good luck.
Sorry for the crazy spelling....my son is pulling on me!
When I was pregnant with my 3 year old daughter, my MIL passed away from cancer. It was so hard because she gave so many gifts to my husband and myself. When my daughter arrived a few months later, my FIL came to the hospital with a gift bag. Of course I was really excited because of the amazing gifts that they have always given us in the past. In it was a onesie that said 'My Grandpa Loves me!'. Yes it was cute, but after a long labor, I was expecting the goodies. That same Christmas we had a small gift for my husband, myself, and my daughter. He is very good to us by coming over and watching my children when I have a doc appt. or need a haircut. I know how you feel. I see my FIL sitting on his money and being a tight-was(sp?) all the time. It used to be that if we went to dinner he and his wife would always pick up the bill. Not any more. He will sit quietly until my husband picks it up. He says he's retired and needs to be careful. My husband is on all of his accounts, and so I know better. When his b-day rolls around I make it a National Holiday with a cake, dinner, gifts and homemade cards from the kids. My birthday comes and it's like here's your $25.00 Target gift card! I'm with your Skyesmom!!