I'm a single mom. My ex lives nearby but he refuses to help me out - he pays his child support but that's it! Any suggestions?
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ask him to come over for dinner one eveing,tell him you want to discuss him spending more time with the children so he knows ,its and dinner for talking nothing else when he gets there express your fellings to him,tell him you will give him and couple of weeks to come up with something you both can be happy with,and if he chooses to not help,well be glad he does pay child support sorry to be so blunt but most men dont pay or want to share there time either so your at least one head of most women ,i raised 5 with no help at all.it was hard but i did it,its and shame men dont want to help but as women we can do this
Give him the children. Women are not the only parent are they. Reverse the role and see how much time you will have to do the things that you feel that he should be doing. Bottom line up front put your money where your mouth is.
Remarry him. Get through and over your (your's and his) past problems and realize it was about you two up until children (or babies) came into the family unit. Then it's not about you or him anymore, it is about your combined effort to develop your children together. This is an enormous job and it takes putting any differences aside so you both concentrate your energy, roll up your (his and your's) sleeves, and dig in for the next 18 years, together. Nothing else is as important. Then you and he can enjoy the rewards of your hard work, because it isn't easy in the middle of the job.
The only thing you can do is be very specific with your and your childrens needs. You can remind him that while the financial support is appreciated, the kids still need their Dad on an emotional level. Just try to avoid accusing tones and appeal to the side of him that at one time you found appealing. Remember the old saying about catching more bees with honey than vinegar? Your tone and the way you word your requests for help will determine how the ex responds.
Good luck to you!!!
Oh, the non existent no good father of my daughter Samantha's name is Joe VanGieson. He also was supposed to pay half her college tuition room and board and never has, and even when she totalled a car twice in 6 days, he wouldn't even phone her to tell her he was glad she was OK...
move on, I tried for 21 years now and the man doesn't even ever send his daughter a card, never a single birthday card to her, and the minute she turned 18 he cut all contact with her, since he didn't have to give me any child support anymoore. Don't keep thinking the bastard will grow a concience, some men., a lot of them have no concience to grow from and are basically just selfish people. Best advice, move on and don't ever look back, the windshield is a lot larger in a car than a rear view mirror I have heard, for a reason. You need to see what's in front of you more than what's in your past. Live your lives...Find your kid a better substitute parent and let them know it has nothing to do with them, that its the man's shortcomings and something that no one else but him can fix....Let them know that a lot of men are just selfish and when they are done with the woman, they are also done with the children. (I used to live in cary by the way)...Be successful, that is the best revenge...Look fantasitc and move on...