I have a 6 year old son who was just suspended from daycare for previously asking girls to kiss him and today a boy told the teacher my son asked him to touch his privates. A while ago I found out that a neighbor girl has asked to show eachother their underwear and was kissing him. Now I am thinking it went further and I dont know what to do. I have explained that this behavior is inappropriate for his age and is against the rules at daycare and school and have also punished him by grounding him and taking away his tv priveledges but it seems to be getting worse. I do not know what to do. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
People. It is "counseling". No "c" in the middle. It is hard to determine what is typical, age-appropriate "playing doctor" and what is some sort of abuse/harrassment. I do wonder how old your neighbor is, though. And I also think suspension is a little much; if this had happened 30 years ago, I think the school's response would have been very different.
Someone very close to your son is exposing him to porn. Whether its a family member or some magazines that you or your husband may keep hidden. Something. Because that is not typical and I would talk with him and ask him where he saw this and he might not open up right away but you are the best counselor for your son as long as you have his best interest.
do the parents of that little girl know what she is doing? Because that type of behavior is taught.. to show underwear and touching privates. Do not let him play with that little girl again, or at least I wouldn't. He needs to play with boys only boys... because they do boy things, like killing spiders and blowing things up!
*sigh* um... Don't send him to counceling without knowing whats going on
Please accept the seriousness of the situation. You should make two appointments for your son. His doctor and a psych evalation. You need to calmly ask your son, what has happened, and be careful in your response. This way you can know exactly what your son knows.
The daycare was protecting the other children, as they should. There is no punishment in that.
Good luck!
oh my word counciling is not the answer to everything, just talk with him teach him right from wrong. we dont touch other people thats why they are called privets. its improtant that he understand both ways so that if god forbid some thing does happen he understands that was not ok. personal bondries are some thing we teach our girls so early out of fear but i think we forget about our boys. if it comes to it he may have to swich daycare if need be but a good talks for the parents in his life and the occasional reminders help.
A young child should not be punished for something like this. He did not know better, until now.
Best way to talk to young boys is by playing a board game or building legos with him. Even sitting at the table coloring. Whatever he favors.
While engaged in the activity, ask him if anyone has touched him where he felt uncomfortable. Keep the tone light. Boys open up better if they are not looking at you while they are talking. Don't push. Just listen. And then tell him that he cannot touch other people or kiss kids at school even if they want to "play". Allow him to go to a teacher, or to tell you that very day. Let him know that he will not be in any trouble with you. Meanwhile....if you can find another daycare, do so. You would be surprised where this can come from. Neighbors. Family. Even grandparents. It could have happened as young as when he was in diapers. Odd as it sounds, when potty training, someone could have been holding his penis while he voided. This is not good, and can cause all sorts of issues.
Be kind. Be loving. Be an advocate for your child. If it continues seek immediate help from a psychologist.
Happy Parenting! www.TheFineArtofParenting.com
It may not have anything to do with molestation. At six many kids start to notice boys and girls are different and are curious. There is nothing wrong with that. But the daycare obviously isn't a good one if they just suspended him instead of talking with you first. Talk to your son and see what his interest is exactly and if you aren't sure how to handle it, ask someone who knows a thing or two about children. But this isn't uncommon and the daycare treated this the wrong way. Be careful how you go about it b/c you don't want him to think there is something wrong with his curiosity. I think there are some books that deal with this issue.
counciling, counciling, counciling, counciling. When a friend of mine thought soethig happened to her son, she immediatly took him to see a professional. It was a HUGE help. Unfortunatley in that case he had been abused, but it came out while the counciler there to guide them through the darkest parst. Let your child know you love him unconditionally.
Being punished for something like that is not goin to solve nothing.
Have you ask your self if somebody if molesting him, maybe that'll be the anwer. Don't get scare, it could happen. Ask him in a nice way if somebody is been touchin him on his privates parts and to not be afraid to tell you so.