I am heartsick over my son's decision not to continue to go to college. My husband and I both work to make ends meet, and have always told our children that their education is the best thing we could spend our money on. Obviously, college is very important to us. My son started going to a local college, floundered a bit, and now has decided not to go back. He is already behind his friends by one year and I am concerned that the more he doesn't attend, the less likely it is he will finish. He is planning on working, so we don't have a laziness issue. I just can't seem to come to terms with this decision.
Give him time. I chose not to go to college for a long time. Now at twenty five I go full time and work. I regret not going when I was 18 but I don't regret the things I accomplished before I finally decided what I wanted to be when I "Grew" up. He will find his way...even if he never goes back.
My daughter went to college for My husband and myself for 4 years, after $86,000 and an awfull lot of failed classes she finally told us she did not want to stay there. That was 1.5 years ago. She just signed up for classes for herself today. She is spending her money this time and going because she wants to, It's his life- His only life let him make this decision. Later he may go back- just don't treet him like a child- Job = rent and own expenses.The "real world" is not so easy and they figure out that a degree makes it a little easier sometimes. But college is NOT for everyone. Just let him do what he loves.
I didn't finish college. I got a job as a junior reporter and 11 years later, became the first female editor of my country's first video game magazine. Today, I'm a SAHM and a freelance photographer, and went back to college for my degree in arts and sciences. I am the top of my class and take my studies so seriously my husband thinks it's adorable how much of a nerd I am turning out to be. I am 35 years old.
I think it's important to let him decide but it has to be an informed decision.
Pros of a degree: It is a short cut, the fast track. It opens doors that would otherwise remain closed until you've got around 10 years of work experience under your belt. College is also where you learn discipline - managing your finances, social life, responsibilities, in a controlled environment that simulates independence. You are allowed to make mistakes, even big ones, in college. It is the testing ground for life.
Cons of a degree. As someone who used to manage a lot of degree holders, and non-degree holders, I must say NDHs are more resourceful, work harder and are more creative. They are also more competitive, hungrier and somehow will go the distance because they know they have to make up for the lack of education. Somehow, resourcefulness, creativity and work ethics have been educated out of the majority of DHs because of the mentioned "controlled environment". They also think a degree entitles them to an elevated status compared to NDHs and this entitlement attitude does not help.
My husband and I, both NDHs, have had discussions about what if our girls decide not to pursue tertiary ed, which is why I've given it so much thought. It's not easy because of how the working world is (who has the time/resources to give just anyone a chance these days?) and it breaks my heart to send a child out whom will be seen as coming up short against someone from an Ivy League institution. But I believe in the long run, she or he will learn a lot of important life lessons (which may not be very lucrative) that no university on earth will be able to teach.
Don't trash yourself for not being able to convince your son to go to college. You have the entire American culture supporting this idea of college not being really necessary. To me is so sad how many people (not all) in the United States settle for just making a good living, and don't actually do EVERY effort to achieve the highest education possible for them.
If your son has decided that College is not for him, don't push him too hard as he might rebel against your view. Since you actually brought him up with the idea of education being important, there is a great chance that even if he doesn't go back to College in less than one year, he will in the future. Either when he is tired of not making all the money that he deserves, or when it comes to set an example for his own children.
Not everything is lost ;)
Well you have to understand that this is his decision. I took a yr off after graduation, went to college the following yr, couldn't decide on a major and took some more time off to try different things to see what I like. Now I'm focused and know what I want, I plan on continuing college and going for a Bachelor's in nutrition. You have to let him decide what's best for him. He may decide to go back and finish once he figures out what he wants to do.
College is not for everyone. Nor does everyone do well at it. My oldest son decided not to do college and worked for almost 10 years in construction before deciding to "take a few classes" He graduates soon. Our oldes daughter went into a field with on the job training and is now bringing in more at that job than she would have with a degree. Another one of our daughters decided not to go to college right out of highschool. We just sat down and I asked her to make a list of everything she was interested in doing as a career. Turned out everything on her list required at least a two year degree. I told her to think about it over the summer and go ahead and apply to college just in case. I sent her overseas for the summer to work with a friend of ours. She came back much more mature and ready for college. She also floundered one semester but we did not make a big deal out of it. We sent her overseas again to work another summer and she came back ready to start over. She is a junior now and still hates college but views it as a means to an end so she is hanging in there.
Maybe its a deeper issue. I'm in college right now, and as you so delicately put it, I "floundered" in my sophomore year, failed a few classes and looked around, wondering, Why am I even doing this? I could easily make rent and bills with a waitressing job and a few double shifts. I did, for awhile, and there's nothing wrong with that. I loved it. Then I got pregnant and decided I would need a higher paying job (with benefits!) and immediately went back to school to get a more marketable degree. It could be that he doesn't dislike college (I didn't!) but that he doesn't see the point. Let him explore a little. YOu voiced your opinions. But you're right. People who take a year or more off are much less likely to go back. My advice? See if you can reach a compromise. Ever heard of University of Pheonix online? The stigma attached to online schools is quickly fading. Or maybe an associate's or technical degree. Its not as long or as expensive as the 4-year colleges out there, but people holding technical degrees are in huge demand, particularly in today's economy.
College doesn't work for some people (in the traditional sense). Go get some coffee with your son and see what's really on his mind, then make your suggestions.
Good luck, and kudos to you. I'm a 22 year old mom in college, and my folks are nowhere to be found, let alone encouraging me to succeed from the sidelines.
Let your son make his own decision. He is his own person. You can only do what you have done! Let him know how you feel and leave it at that. If you keep pestering, he might get very mad and annoyed at you. Don't be so hard on your self. I'm sure you have brought him up right. He does have a job like you said. Be proud of your son for what ever he wants to be and what ever he wants to do with his life! I never went to college. I worked in retail for thirteen years straight out of High School until I left to have children and my parents were very proud of me!!