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Low Desire

More than 40% of women claim to have a low sex drive at some point in their life, according to studies, reports the Mayo Clinic. Of these women, 5-15% admit that their condition is ongoing. Researchers say it's hard to measure low sex drive, because it varies from woman to woman - there is no norm as to how often every woman should be having sex.

Top 4 Causes of Low Desire in Women, from the Mayo Clinic

  1. Physical causes:
    These include sexual problems such as: pain during sex; medical diseases; medications (including antidepressants) that can lower libido; alcohol and drugs; surgery related to the breasts and genital tract, which may impact body image and function; and fatigue.
  2. Hormone changes:
    The lack of estrogen and testosterone women experience during menopause may lower desire as well as all the hormonal changes experienced during pregnancy, after giving birth, and breastfeeding.
  3. Psychological causes:
    Stress, low self-esteem, poor body image, and any history of abuse may hinder a woman's sex drive.
  4. Relationship issues:
    A lack of connection to your partner, ongoing conflict, and infidelity issues may cause a disinterest in sex.

Sexual issues, such as low desire, are classified as problems if they bother you or are negatively impacting your relationship with your partner. According to Blue Shield of California, if a woman has a symptom such as low desire but she and her partner are not upset about it, then it is not considered a sexual problem. Women who feel that their low desire is a problem can see a doctor for help.


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What Moms Can Do about Low Desire

It does not matter whether you are having sex once a month or once a week -- if your level of desire concerns you, talk to your doctor, and don't feel shy, says the Mayo Clinic. Your sexual satisfaction is an important part of your overall health.

Moms who believe their low desire is a problem should consult their regular doctor first, advises Blue Shield of California, in case the cause is physical or stems from any medication you are taking. You'll want to know if there are physical causes before starting any type of therapy.

Because a woman's low sexual desire may have several types of causes (physical, emotional, and possibly even hormonal), treatment plans are often multi-faceted, according to the Mayo Clinic. A woman may be advised to try a combination of medication, lifestyle changes, such as getting more exercise or stressing less, and sex education and counseling.

Hilda Hutcherson, MD, gynecologist and author of "What Your Mother Never Told You about Sex," shares these tips that may also help a woman to rev up low desire:

  • Make sex a priority. Schedule it. Get a babysitter so you can focus on your sex life with your partner. Sex releases chemicals that help bond you to your mate. It's important!
  • Novelty increases desire, so look for new and exciting things to add freshness to your sex life ... and that does not mean a new partner (though that has been shown to markedly increase desire!).
  • Communicate with your partner. It is important to talk about what works and what doesn't.
  • Make time for self-love. When you feel good about yourself, you feel deserving of pleasure and a good sex life. Get a massage, manicure, yoga, read a good book ...
  • Ask for what you want! It sounds simple, but we often don't do it. If you get what you want in the bedroom every time (or almost every time), you are more likely to desire it.

It is important to remember that sex drives fluctuate in any relationship and change during different stages of life, according to the Mayo Clinic.

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Related Momlogic Stories on Low Desire

  1. Low Sex Drive? No Big Deal, Say Most Women
  2. Dad's Top 10 Sex Complaints
  3. Married Women Hate Sex

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